When you’re dating someone, at some point you begin to consider whether or not the relationship is worth taking to the next level. Whether you blatantly intend to or not, you begin to administer a series of not-so-discrete tests to help you come to a decision – pass or fail. If you love to travel, the test that weighs most heavily in determining his final score may be The Travel Test.
The first test is probably the friends test. Face it, no matter how much you like the guy, if your friends can’t stand being around him (and hopefully you have honest friends), that’s an immediate red flag that it probably won’t work. If all is good with the friends, you would likely move on to the next section, the parental assessment. Do mom and/or dad approve?
If he’s lucky enough to get an “A” on that portion, then you begin to create your own final exam. True or false, he’s husband material. Does he have all the qualities you’re looking for? Where do you see yourselves in five years (circle all that apply)?
After you’ve had ample time to review the results, are his answers what you had hoped for? For someone like myself, who can’t imagine a life without travel, he needs to pass The Travel Test in order to truly know if the relationship is worth continuing. (Traveling is a lot like falling in love, and I lay that all out here.) I honestly believe you learn more about someone by traveling with them for a week, than you do in months of dating.
The Travel Test
If you love to travel as much as I do, then this may be the most important test for your future husband. Though you could ask yourself a bunch of questions like:
On a typical weekend, would he rather be: A) Spontaneous and take a road trip or explore something new in your city or B) Predictable and sit on the couch watching TV or eating the same thing from take out around the corner
The true test comes when the wheels hit the road or take off into the sky, and there’s no turning back. Your findings from this exam not only provide you with a deeper look into how compatible you will be travel-wise, but more importantly whether you’ll mesh personality-wise.
People always used to say to me, when you move in with someone you learn all the things about him that you may or may not have wanted to know. Honestly, I think traveling with someone for an extended period of time gives an even more accurate picture of who someone really is. You want to know why? We’ll I’m glad you asked. Here are five things to consider when determining whether or not he’s passed The Travel Test.
- You’re stuck with them in more confined spaces, so you really get up close and personal. Unless you’re living the high life, traveling with someone typically means you’ll be stuck with them in close quarters. Whether that means being trapped in a long car ride or arm to arm in an airplane cabin, there’s no better way to learn about someone than being inseparable (literally because your entire itinerary and accommodations are shared). You’ll learn about their habits on a basic level like their cleanliness, sleep patterns and organization, as well as on a deeper one like how they go about their day, what they look forward to and more.
- You’ll know right away how they fair in unpredictable situations. When traveling, things don’t always go according to plan. You may run into delays at the airport, sold out attractions or crowds of tourists that would test anyone’s patience. Seeing his reactions and attitudes to the unpredictability that accompanies traveling, can shed light on the type of person he is. Is he a complainer or problem solver? Can he go with the flow or does it make him overwhelmed? Life is unpredictable, so his response to this one is crucial.
- When they’re out of their element, you quickly learn how easily they can adapt to change. At times, traveling can definitely be uncomfortable. There are, at the very least, differences in culture if not the added bonus of a different time zone, language, customs and/or cuisine. How accepting is he of these differences? Can he adapt and respect them? Or does he try and force his own ways rather than experience new ones? Hopefully, you’ll know right away if he is willing to step outside his comfort zone and enjoy the ride with you.
- You can uncover how intellectually stimulating they are. Does he enjoy learning new things? Does adventure excite him? Perhaps he has a passion for history, architecture, cuisine even. Soak up every moment, and let him drive the conversation when you visit something you’ve never seen. Traveling takes you out of the mundane routine of every day life and catapults you into this new world of wonder at every turn. Does he embrace and thrive in this type of environment?
- You’ll recognize right away how important it is for them to make you happy. No matter who it is you choose to travel with, you won’t always be 100% on the same page with the things you want to see with your limited time. Travel certainly requires compromises. Unless you’re moving there permanently, you won’t be able to see every single thing there is. Your perfect match doesn’t mean you share every single interest, in fact there may be a lot of things you’re interested in that he’s not. But his willingness to partake in the things that you enjoy, show how much he values your own happiness. (My husband for example, does not enjoy going to art museums. However, when we travel somewhere that has an art museum I’m dying to see, he always “suffers” through it just so I can leave happy. Isn’t he something?!) You also learn a lot about yourself and whether or not you’re willing to do things for him that he enjoys that might not be your favorite.
Through The Travel Test, you’ll get a good understanding of not only his habits, traits and quirks, but you’ll also get insight into his outlook on life and what’s important to him. Only one man has passed my rigorous travel test, and he’s stuck with me forever. If you’re seriously dating someone, I highly recommend taking a trip somewhat far away together. Hopefully he’ll pass The Travel Test, and it’s a trip you’ll forever remember as that turning point in your own course of life.
Do you have any other must-ace questions on your travel test? Let me know in the comments below.